After reading the satanic bible (written by the devil himself, not by Anton LaVey) scientists have concluded that they could access Hell and possibly bring it to Earth should they reach the deepest part of the ocean.

After months of trying in the artic sea, they found out it takes a cow approximately 2 weeks to reach the bottom of the ocean.

Still no demons, though.

I dreamed a clan of ninjas went to Tibet to recover the corpse of their grandmaster. When they arrived to the tomb, which looked like some inverted tower that went all the way down to Earth (google Poço da Regaleira for a good example) they found the corpse of their fallen leader.

...

Alongside a fucking yeti.

Swords and shuriken proven innefective as the snow big foot proceeded to beat them all up, put them in dresses and turned them into his wives.

F

First time dreaming about the Abominable Snowman and this is what I get.

Bruh

Spider.Figh.Club!

That was my dream. Man sized spiders of every species standing on two legs punching the shit out of each other.

There were some humans with their mouths agape in the audience but all the fighters were spiders. It was really something, spiders have a mean game and are pretty agile, I don't think any human boxer could compete with them.

Good thing giant, sentient spiders aren't a thing because God knows they would dominate every fighting sport on Earth.

Everyone was fighting with hammers :0

Bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk

Lol

LMAO!!!

I dreamed 2 wankers went into a bar run by a dwarf lady and started picking on her, shoving her, stealing shit and jumping around the tables.

The 2 twats proceeded go flee on their shitty beetle car to a motel only to wake up in the morning with a gang of heavily armed dwarves with a guns pointed to their noses.

The 2 pricks were then forced at gunpoint to do degrading shit in order to atone. They were forced to crawl back naked to the bar and beg the dwarf lady for forgiveness in front of a room full of customers that didn't waste time filming it.

They were forced into anime girl dresses and went to a neighborhood and forced to shout slurs at people (they got beat up pretty badly).

The trip back to the hospital had them inside of the back of the car while the dwarves commented on how beautiful the assholes's mothers looked and what they would do with them.

They had the 2 assholes enter a school and forced them to tell rape and dad jokes to a girl who was apparently raped by her dad.

I woke up before the dwarves could torment them any longer but needless to say those guys were fucked.

I dreamed that I was in a farm taking care of kittens. So many felines...

Wtf is with these celebrity death dreams lately?

So Paul bros and co. appear on my old high school which is now been overrun by cultists, lanky, bald, pale things on black robes and snow clothes.

Jake decides to fuck with one of them by taking off his shirt and asking this "bro" if "u cold on summer?"

The cultists slow turns his head to him, almost breaking his neck on the process and replies "Would you like me to come and warm you, little man?".

Jake, coming on top from what I'm sure was a bunch of rigged boxing matches was certain he could beat this corpse of a man. Only for the moment he got close two kids from the school closed in on him and slammed him into the ground, holding him back with the sort of strenght no kid should have. Logan and the rest where soon captured by bloodthirsty 13 to 16 year olds and forced to kneel in front of the cultist.

A one of the kids handed to the cultist a warhammer, which he used to pummel Jake's face into a bloody mess, pieces of bone and brain scattered all over the floor.

Logan and the group were now soaking 5 pounds wet on their own tears and piss, screaming that they were sorry and that they didn't want to die.

The cultist claimed that many of his siblings weren't properly equiped to deal with the cold like he was, he said that they needed to be warmed up.

Students with strange, ritualistic knives with symbols engraved approached and started to flay Logan and the rest. Humans can't survive for long without skin but for them I'm sure it must have felt like an eternity.

In real life, our school has this "red square" which is used for sport activities. In this dream we had two.

Well, this was quite pleasant.

I was on a flooded city, water almost reaching the top of the several skyscrappers. A calm and gentle rain dropped, there was not a single sound to be heard other than the water falling and moving.

I remember just staying there the whole dream, just… Floating, not a worry in the damn world.

So serene

Well…

Eddy Murphy had somehow ascended to godhood and demanded all the oscars to be handed to him. When people made the mistake of memeing his demands and “ratio” him on the twatter, Eddy turned his wrath to that woman who directed Turning Red (Domee Shi I believe) and drowned her alongside her entire family on a flood of blood.

Now seen as a threat, Eddy was targeted by several militaries but since you can’t really kill a god it all that came of it was the death of EVERY american soldier.

With the most powerful army in the world rendered nonexistent, Murphy once again made demands, this time promising to flood the world with acid shouldn’t they get met.

Now as slaves to the new god, we built a humongus effigy that could be seen from space :(

Thanks, brain.

I dream the world was fucked.

Nuclear holocaust wipedout the vast majority of humanity and cities, only a few settlements in the middle of assfuck nowhere where alive, the trees had somehow come alive and were acting pretty hostile towards the remaining humans, half of them were slowly decaying.

Speaking of decaying, there were a few corpses going around town, much like the trees they weren’t happy with us, probably they’re assmad about dying on a nuclear war and to top it all off whatever was left of humanity was still waging war with each other.

With far more interest in gunning down other humans and destroying the few functional cities, humanity would soon be driven to extinction by the combine effords of fauna and flora, both dead and alive.

I can’t complain much about getting my body destroyed in nuclear fire, honestly. No pain, no need for sleep or eat and I got to move around freely, far beyond the limits my flesh gave me and I got to witness the biggest and last fortnite match in our human history.

The trees and zombies finished destroying the last evidence of human existence before returning to their passive state. I was starting to wonder if I could shut off and do the same as a ghost until I noticed a bunch of wolves trying to… Stand up in two legs?

Cats and bunnies were similarly trying to pick up rubbles and failing to use them as tools.

I just hope the furries wouldn’t end up fucking up like we did before I got woken up by my cats.